Sunday, March 13, 2011

Are promises meant to be broken?

Is your relationship on the rocks ? There may be many reasons for it. Unrealistic expectations may be one of the main reason for this discontent. Couples , whether deeply committed or not, expect a lot from their partners. Couples promise a lot to their loved one and when the promises are not fulfilled , it can lead to a lot of problems and distress. We promise our partner of purchasing that beautiful house before marriage, but this piece of fiction takes a different twist after marriage. If we were promised to go for a holiday and that doesn't take place due to certain circumstances, there is nothing but disgust in our hearts.

So do our words mean nothing ? The question is both yes and no. Our promises take the form of words to guarantee something which we aspire to achieve and gift to our loved ones. However, we rarely understand the fact that we are just human with a lot of failings. It's what we make out of your failure that we become successful people in life.

Maybe that's why, there is a shortage of super successful people in a relationship. Had that person applied so much energy to a relationship than see the day when things fall apart. However, it requires a whole lot of commitment and honesty in making a relationship work. If one is honest about their weakness, then the facts of life would not be so strange. As Edgar Allen Poe rightly pointed out, Truth is stranger than fiction.

We often believe that our ideal lover or the life partner we choose should always be that ideal statue whom we would like to worship and put on a pedestal. But it is rarely true, that we actually look into the ugly aspects of the person we love. That's why the first impression we make about someone is usually or mostly false.

We often try to project the best of what we can be in a relationship. At times, we are secretly surprised that we actually can be that ideal person. With this new mask, we are not our wretched true selves. However, our degeneration of character is as ugly as that as our love's life. We often camouflage our selfishness to become with the person but it is only during the later stages of a relationship that we understand that we can't play this pretence games any more. Frustration is on the fore which may only lead to the destruction of a relationship.

A healthy relationship can be achieved only if you understand that your loved one is as human as you are. However, the best way to sum up this discussion is to remember the AA serenity prayer

"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can,
and wisdom to know the difference."

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