The act of forgiveness

Most people have heard the old adage ‘to err is human, to forgive divine’. We know that it’s best if we’re able to forgive some of life’s little digs from others, but sometimes it just isn’t easy to do this.
Tell the other person how they made you feel
Often the easiest way to forgive someone is to sit down and tell them how you feel. If the person you’re struggling to forgive is someone important to you, whom you want to keep in your life, the best option is to sit down with them and simply let them know what they did that hurt you and how it’s impacted you.
Try to use non-threatening words and body language, and don’t accuse them of hurting you on purpose. A helpful tip is to use “I” sentences – “I feel hurt when …”, “I felt disrespected when …”, as these are not accusatory, but still help to drive the point home.
Consider writing them a letter

If the person is either no longer in your life or is someone you want out of your life, then you have to decide if it’s really worth your time and energy to have that same conversation with them. Maybe it’d be enough for you simply to write down your thoughts and feelings just to let it out.
You can then decide if it would be best for you to send them the letter, or just tear it up and burn it. Remember, forgiveness is for and about you. The other person doesn’t necessarily have to know you’ve forgiven them.
Change your perspective

Another way to practise forgiving others for their slights against you is to write about how you have benefited from their actions. That’s right … benefited. It won’t help you to reach forgiveness if you just write about what the other person did wrong, how it made you feel, and what you’d like to do to get revenge.

Changing your perspective can make the difference between continuing to stew in your emotions and actually forgiving the other person. So write about the good things that came as a result of the other person’s actions. Maybe you were so angry you went to go and buy ice cream to drown your sorrows, where you happened to run into someone close to you, whom you hadn’t seen in a long time.
Try to see things through their eyes

Strive to empathise with the other person. Putting yourself in their position and trying to see things through their eyes has been shown to make the process of forgiveness much easier (especially for men).

Instead of viewing them as your arch nemesis, ask yourself if maybe they’re going through something difficult and just took it out on you? Maybe you’ve made a similar mistake at some point? Think about their good qualities and then try to realise that maybe they weren’t really out to hurt you.
Forgiving does not mean condoning bad behaviour

You should also bear in mind that forgiving someone isn’t the same thing as excusing or accepting their behaviour. You aren’t leaving yourself open for further abuse, but you also don’t need to hold a grudge.

And never forget the greatest forgiver of all … time. Sometimes you just need to put a little time and space between yourself and the other involved party. But if you find that years later you’re still resentful, it might be time to seek a little extra help to resolve the issue.